Closure - if this exists!

Closure, if at all possible.
I began to tell myself that closure would possibly come in two ways for me; 1)When the pathology results came back from the d&c procedure, 2)When I got my period. I felt that the pathology results would let me know where pregnancy may stand in our future. I also felt that getting my period would let me know that my body was slowly returning back to normal. Both of these happened for me. We learned that the miscarriage was due to a chromosome abnormality ie: two sperm and one egg. We learned that there is no greater chance that this will happen to us again in the future. This helped to ease our anxieties about the future.

I wanted to tell this story for many reasons. First and foremost, it would be unfair to pretend that this never happened. The loss of our baby will always be in our hearts and will come to shape us as individuals and as a couple. Second, our family and friends deserve to know this story. We never meant to keep any of this a secret, however we felt that we had to do what was best for us. I do not have any regrets about our decisions and the way we handled our situation. Lastly, miscarriage is very common. Since our situation has happened, I have been helped along by friends that have miscarried and am always here to do the same for someone else. I believe that anyone that has miscarried truly understands the sea of emotions I felt on that day and still feel.

In closing to our baby…

Dear little bean,
Mommy and Daddy loved you and cared about you from the moment we learned of your existence. In the short weeks that you grew in my belly, I had dreams of what you would become. I will never forget you.
Love,
Mommy