Recovery Days

When I talk of recovery days, these were hardly physical recovery days. I had some cramping after the surgery and took one or two doses of pain medication, however it quickly went away. Bleeding is common, however this did not bother me as it was not uncomfortable. I took the day off from work on Friday and also on Monday. Our friends, Brandon and Pretzel, came for a visit with their son, Daniel. This visit had been planned before any of this happened and we did not want to change it because of this situation. We had already planned an Easter Egg hunt for our adorable godson and knew their visit was probably one of the best things for us. The weekend went well. We went to some wineries that weekend and enjoyed each others company.

The days that followed were a bit more difficult. When we had our friends in town, they were a great distraction. However once they left, we were left with hopes and dreams that would not yet be ours. Monday night, I cried on the couch while we were watching television, as I didn’t want to have to go back to work on Tuesday. Matt looked at me and very adorably said, “You are going to have to leave your ‘friend’ sometime.” My ‘friend.’ There is no denying this. My husband absolutely was. He was more than my friend. He was my husband, my rock, and my security blanket. I had become so dependent on him in those past few days. We made a deal. "Fine," he said. "Take one more day off on Tuesday, but then you have to go back to work." He offered to take me to the shooting range (something I had always wanted to do but never done before) and then to take me out to lunch. I immediately jumped at the chance. I called my supervisor ie: amazingly supportive and understanding woman to tell her that I felt I needed one more day off. She automatically agreed and said she would see me on Wednesday.

I want to spend a minute and mention ‘my friend’ again. I can not imagine going through this without him. Matt was so amazing and compassionate. He was truly there for me. His grieving didn’t seem to matter at that moment. When I wanted pizza, we ordered pizza. When I wanted to grow a garden, we started a garden. When I wanted to watch movies, we watched movies. When I wanted to sit on the couch and avoid my phone calls, we sat on the couch and avoided life. In a time when I felt so empty and lost, he found a way to protect and shield me. While we have been together for 7 ½ years, we grew closer than ever before on that month in April. I often ask myself how it is possible to love someone as much as I love him. Matt – you make me a better person. You do.