Where Are Your Words?!

Where to begin? Its hard to summarize thoughts and feelings that weigh us down every day.

At Tyler's 18 month appointment (which occurred about two weeks before his 18 month birthday), Matt and I spoke with Tyler's pediatrician about developmental concerns we have had for Tyler. Tyler's pediatirician openly shared her concerns with us as well, and mentioned that he scored positively for Autism on a screening. She, of course, shared with us that a screening does not mean a diagnosis, however it was still hard to hear.

We made the decision to re-open Tyler's evaluation through the CDSA (Children's Developmental Services Agency). If you recall, we tried to obtain services several months ago. We were informed that while he was developmentally delayed in three of the five criteria, it still wasn't enough for him to qualify for services. We felt (as well as our Pediatirican) that it was appropriate to pursue this again further. Our pediatircian asked if we would rather pursue speech therapy (to help with communication) or pursue occupational therapy (to help with walking). We informed her immediately that being able to communicate with Tyler was much more important than anything else. She agreed.

So here is where today's post comes in. Today was Tyler's speech evaluation.

I'll summarize it with two pictures and then a whole lot of words:

Tyler and his "evaluator." I can't remember her name but she was so good with him!

He was a big fan of the playroom!

Dear Tyler,
Today, mommy and daddy took you to downtown Durham for a speech evaluation. Daddy picked you up at day-care and took you to the center. Mommy met you from work. We met with Dana, your CDSA case worker. We also met with your evaluator. Mommy can't remember her name but she was very kind and gentle. You did so well! As soon as we got in the building, we placed you down and you followed us as we walked into the "testing room." You were your lovable self. You engaged well with everyone and even waved a few times. You laughed and giggled as toys and cars were zooming towards you during the games they were playing with you. You walked all over the room. You looked up at the ceiling and said, "Yah. Yah." We think you were talking about the "light" in the room. You came over to daddy and I for comfort when you needed it. You didn't cry once (except when you fell, but that was legit!) When asked, you even took a bottle and fed a little baby doll. Where did you learn that? When you were given a comb and were asked to brush your hair, you put the comb up to your head. Where did you learn that? We are in awe of you. You are so special and worth every bit of worry we place into you!

After you were done playing, we talked with the evaluator about you. They told us that your communication is that of a 9 month old at this time. While it was a little hard to hear, it was the truth and we knew it too. They also highlighted your strengths. They said you have a great personality and are so fun to be around! While they said there is concern for developmental delay, they had a hard time believing that you could be autistic. The evaluator told us that while you would qualify for speech therapy, they think the best plan for now is to let you have fun in your new day-care for a month or two and see how you do!

They really said it best...just when mommy and daddy start feeling really concerned, you do something out that we aren't expecting you to do, it just takes you longer than others your age. Let's take walking as an example. Up until recently, when you took three or four steps between the couch and the coffee table, we were pleased. But then, listen to this, you literally, overnight, started walking! I'm not talking about a few wobbly steps before you crash on the floor, I'm talking about actual walking, from room to room, holding objects! You are so good and steady on your feet!

We came up with a plan. We are going to focus on two signs with you. We are going to focus on "more" and "all done" for the next month or two. We are going to let you explore your new "school" and new "friends." We are going to be really verbal with you and overexaggerate everything with sounds and reinforce it with words.

Most importantly though, we are going to enjoy you. We promise to try not to analyze every move you make. If we do, forgive us. We are human, your parents and want to give you the best we can. You are the love of our life and have brought us more joy than you could ever imagine. Thanks for being you. You are so sweet and adorable. Just when we think we can't possibly love you anymore, it happens....

We love you!
xoxoxo always,
Mommy (and daddy)