I'm Not Telling...

Conflicted. That is what I am. I haven't told my family about the pregnancy, with the exception of my younger sister, Jaime. I mainly told her for two reasons initially, 1) She bought me tickets to a Tim Mcgraw Concert in July, along with a bottle of wine and a six pack of beer. Clearly, alcohol and pregnancy do not mix. I am also not afraid to admit that it would be unlikely for me to accept this gift and not use it in normal circumstances 2) I traveled with her in late July to the bourben infested city of Loisville for her birthday. Come on, I felt the need to explain myself!

Complicating matters if the fact that my twin sister, Jen, and I are about 6 weeks apart with our pregnancies (I know, how amazing!) I am about 9 weeks pregnant and she is about 15 weeks pregnant. First, I am so excited. My mind wanders to what it would be like to experience a pregnancy together, as well as to have our kids grow up so close in age. I quickly stop myself from these thoughts, desperately not wanting to get too far ahead of myself. I am simply not comfortable telling them yet. If something happens with this pregnancy (I know I shouldn't think this way, but I do. How could I not? It has happened to me before) then I do not want to create an opportunity for them to pity me initially, until I can get through it myself. I fear that any news of another miscarriage would completely take away the excitement and joy from Jen and the rest of the family. Right or wrong, it is how I feel.

I justtify my decision with this blog. While they have not been able to share in my weekly experiences of pregancy yet, they will (hopefully) have the opportunity to read this blog in a few weeks and get caught up.