Tomorrow...

I know. You say, "Where have you been the last 3 months?!" Well...I had a baby and have been soaking everything in as a family of 4. I want to get back to blogging and go back and blog about some of the last three months but this is my starting point.

I'm going back to work tomorrow.  I have been incredibly blessed to have been able to be at home with Jacob for the last 3 months but here is the thing...I want more.

When Tyler was born, it was all new to me. Every single stage was new...The sleeping, the feeding, the diapers, the change on our social life. I remember being ready to go back to work, not because I didn't love Tyler or want to be around him but because I was craving the freedom I had at work. The freedom to walk to the food court, the freedom to go to the bathroom whenever I needed to, the freedom to make a phone call at any time...

Well now more so than ever, I recognize how fast time goes because I have seen it with Tyler. I know that starting tomorrow,  I will barely get three hours of awake time with Jacob during any given weekday and there is nothing I can do about it. I'm going to miss alot of his firsts. While they will all be "first" times with me seeing them eventually, it is not the same. I won't be the face he sees in the mornings when he is smiling or in the afternoons when he just wants to cuddle.

Sigh. Life is tough sometimes. I know I have to work for our family but the knowledge and reality of that sure doesn't make it any easier.